Mass Misadvanture

October 7, 2008 at 7:44 pm (Uncategorized) (, )

The first time would not go smoothly. I should have known.

I had planned on bailing because the weather sucked and I had never been to St. Thomas, well actually had never been to the Great City of Chickasaw, in my life and didn’t care to find it after dark on rainy streets.  So, I popped a couple benadryl for my poor sinuses and crashed, with the deal that if I woke by 5, I’d take it as a sign that I should go to mass at 5:30.

And woke up at 4:19.  And 4:24.  And 4:38.  And 4:47.  At which point my cat is even looking at me like “You’re an idiot.  Go to church.”

So.  I leave home at five.  St. Thomas the Apostle is nine miles away.  Mass is at 5:30.  I have to admit, I do love this Catholic tradition of “getting it over with on Saturday.”  But I’m thinking, even in the dark, I can travel nine miles in thirty mintues!  Well yes I can, but not if 25 of those is spent looking for “1st Street.”

Here’s a clue, mapquest geeks.  1st street does not run through to West Lee, or if it does, is camouflaged very impressively.  Finally after stopping in the parking lot of Holy Name of Jesus Faith Deliverance Temple or something like that, to get my (largely nonexistent) bearings.  When it finally occurred to me that 2nd and 3rd street PROBABLY ran parallel to 1st from West Lee to North Craft Highway.

Look, there is a reason my husband doesn’t usually let me drive.  Not even the short bus.

So I pull into the parking lot at 5:28 and, in my attempt to not be obviously 1) late and 2) Protestant, I hurriedly slipped into a back pew.  A little too hurriedly, as I totally bypassed the Seasonal Missal which, as it turns out, would have been darned helpful.  As it was, I spent half the mass muttering “watermelon” like we used to during crowd scenes in drama class.  And we’ll leave out the “running into the little old lady who had paused to bow or genuflect or make the sign of the cross or something” in front of me.  Oops.

By the end of the service, though, I could at least make the sign of the cross without doing it backwards.  I’m calling that progress.


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